Post 13: Reflection

When I first opened this blog, I was asked to pose the essentials questions we are exploring in sophomore English. Those questions were: 1. What kind of a world is this?, and 2. How should I live in it? Through many posts about philanthropy, and through the, "This I Believe" statement we had to record, I have began to find my own voice and values.

I'm not sure if I will ever find an answer to these essential questions. I am not sure if I will ever discover who I am, and what I believe in. Currently, I believe that my problems are petty compared to many other's problems in the world. Recently, my tennis coach had to quit his job to take care after his mother who was diagnosed with cancer. Additionally, Mr. Johnson, a teacher beloved by many passed away on the boat trip. I used to think that my life was unfair: that I should be taller, or that I shouldn't have any teachers I don't want to have, or that my family should be better off financially. However, it's become apparent to me that all of these problems which I thought I had were worthless compared to everything else negatively affecting the world today. At the point when I realized my prior ignorance to what problems really are, and what is just my extravagance, I felt worthless; as though I could not make a difference in the world. I saw these unfair things happening, and I couldn't do anything about it.

Conversely, now, my thinking has began to change. Perhaps, if you made a difference in just one life, or just a hundred lives, that difference; that legacy that those people take from it could make all the difference in their lives. At this point, currently, I almost think of it as an obligation to help others, even if I do not think it will make a difference. I realize how privileged we are at Punahou, and I know that all of us will one day be able to accomplish great things. I feel the obligation to try make a difference in other's lives (not for self satisfaction of course, but rather), because I know that if I make a difference in someone's life, that I was not the first to be able to make that difference. In other words, I want to honor someone underprivileged who could have accomplished the same feat I did of helping someone, since I know that that person could've made the same difference, and in that sense, I do not want to squander the opportunities I have that they do not.