Post 28: Mosquito Coast and PB Comparison

After watching "The Mosquito Coast" and reading "The Poisonwood Bible," there are several undeniable differences. Both take place in a rural village far away from the grasps of America. Both Nathan and Allie are determined that they can provide a much more, for lack of a better word, prosperous life for all of the villagers. In this way, both Nathan and Allie are both blind that their style of executing this message, or method of conveying this information are their detriment. Obviously, both fathers alienate their own families from them as the book and movie proceeds. At one point, the younger son and the older son who narrated in "The Mosquito Coast" stated "I wish he would die already". Although nobody in the Price family would be rash enough to say that, Orleanna has previously talked about how the hardest thing to do everyday was to decide whether to stay with the family or leave. Even Leah, Nathan's biggest advocate starts to miss her lifestyle in the U.S. Conversely, the differences between both the movie and the book are somewhat more subtle.

Nathan and Allie's reason for leaving the U.S differed. Allie was fed up with what America has become. In the opening minutes of the movie, he mocked along the lines of, "The land of opportunity? This is just an oversized trash dump." Nathan on the other hand leaves America determined to "save souls," from their pagan worshiping. Interestingly enough, near the end of "The Mosquito Coast," Allie and his family on their boat-house come across an enclave of Christian missionaries in a village. When Allie and his eldest son entered the church the missionaries built, they watched a television with the minister giving a rather interesting attempt to incorporate technology into a sermon. After watching for a couple of minutes, Allie, disgusted with the electricity used to run the television as well as the fans in the church, as well as the message being conveyed scoffed and walked out of the church. Later, this encounter resulted in Allie burning down the church (with people still inside of it, mind you), and stealing gasoline from the missionaries. What was interesting about this to me is that if Nathan saw Allie burn down a church, he would be infuriated. Similarly, I think that if Nathan came across the village which Allie bought, he would tell Allie that this was all blasphemous, and that he should not force this ice technology (or as Allie himself puts it, that ice is indicative of civilization), on villagers happy with their current lifestyle. Allie and Nathan both stand for causes which have good intentions, yet both of them don't agree with what the other is doing (presumably, Nathan wouldn't Allie is doing). In this way, from my point of view, it is fine to present a point of view, such as religion, but when you try to force it on someone, you become your own detriment. This is because as seen with differing points of view on religion in "The Poisonwood Bible," and "The Mosquito Coast," you yourself might just be blind to how negatively you convey your own message, or how non-comprehendably and culturally outlandish your viewpoint may be.

Post 27: "The Judges" Reflection

"The Judges" is probably the chapter which tests the family the most thus far. Ruth May contracts malaria, the village is swarmed with countless numbers of nsongonya (or ants), Tata Ndu wanting to marry Rachel forces her into a relationship of mixed feelings with Mr. Axelroot, and most of all, Nathan pushes on with his mission of a Christian Kilanga, ignoring the plane out of Kilanga since Belgium gave into a Republic Congo. The thing which puzzles me the most is why Nathan either is oblivious to this, or blames it on each of the family members. For example, when Orleanna became pregnant, it was her fault: "He was profoundly embarrassed by my pregnancies. To his way of thinking they were unearned blessings, and furthermore each one thinking they were unearned blessings, and furthermore each one drew God's attention anew to my having a vagina and his having a penis and the fact we'd laid them near enough together to conceive a child" (198).

Another thing which Nathan seems to do is similar to the Nostradamus effect. By this, I mean that he makes claims such as if the villagers don't do anything they will be punished by God, or something of that sort, and then if something coincidentally happens in such a way where Nathan's point is supported, it would seem as though God actually was on his side. The best example I can think of off the top of my head would be in "The Revelations," where when Adah was "spared" by the lion, more people started going to church. Nathan could claim that it was her undying belief in God which saved her, which he probably would not find out was true or not for I doubt he'd have the patience to have her write down the account of what happened or listen to her explanation extensively from a family member. Similarly, Nostradamus wrote prophecies which didn't get fufilled until hundreds of years later. Being a skeptic, I ask if he was truely writing prophecies, why could he not write a date? Why could people not point out that event occurring before it happened? Some people claim Nostradamus predicted the terrorist attack on 9/11. If he truly predicted this, why couldn't people prevent this attack? Similarly, why can't Nathan state that "if you believe in God, even lions cannot kill you," or something of that sort?

I think that Nathan would reply that God works in his own way. However, when the village gets swarmed by ants, or when hoards of people and households die from the kakakaka, why does God not save them? Even if they worship pagan Gods, why would a truly loving God sacrifice people to influence people to worship him? What do you think Nathan would say?

Post 26: Chernobyl

Today in chemistry, we watched a very disturbing video about nuclear power, and the aftermath of the meltdown of the nuclear reactor in Chernobyl in 1986. Watching the video was a very surreal experience, and just made me feel as though I was the luckiest person in the world, and that grades weren't that big a deal anymore. An analogy which I came up with to express how I felt after watching that video is: watching a video where every child had defects, and the fact that chances of their getting a disease, or a cancer being hundreds of times higher than normal, everything about my life seemed as though I was the most fortunate person in the world. It was like finding a $20 bill wadded up in the back of my pants after I put it through the wash: it was always there, yet discovering that I had that $20 made me feel lucky, just as I have had the same privileges, and opportunities which most people in the world do not get, just rediscovered.

This made me think about the essential questions: 1. What kind of world is this?, and 2. How should I live in it? It seems as though the more I think about these two questions, I come further away from the answer. Once, someone told me that they felt sorry for me because I seemed to have more tests than anyone else. I replied by saying that it only seemed that way because I complained about having tests more than anybody else. This week, I've complained about having five tests (six actually, including that quiz in English today). I've complained about having to play that singles match in tennis on only 3 hours of sleep. However, after watching a video where every child either could not think rationally, or had their organs growing outside of their body, impossible to be removed by surgery (obviously, since someone couldn't live without their brain or kidneys), I am completely humbled. One of the saddest lines in the video was something along the lines of, "It's not that we don't know how to do the surgery, but rather, that we don't have enough money to do it." So, I decided I'd give it a shot, and I started a group on facebook where I'll donate $1 to some organization or orphanage supporting the victims of Chernobyl. I guess I'll see how many people in this world have a heart.

Going back to the essential questions, the only thing I'm sure of about this world is that it is beyond reason unfair. People are punished who haven't been born yet. The way I want to live in this world is by some form helping others. I just wish I was able to have a louder voice in this world with a cacophony of opposing views.

Post 25: Lexicographer for "The Revelations"

Though it's not my assigned job, I like to keep track of these anyway. Can't hurt to learn new vocabulary. The format is the same as last time: word (page number) * (asterisk indicating if the word appears more than once).

precipice (90): a very steep or overhanging place or a hazardous situation
litany (90): a prayer with a series of invocations and supplications by the leader
foray (92):a sudden or irregular invasion or attack for war or spoils
travail (93): work especially of a painful or laborious nature
teresly (94): smoothly elegant
rectified (103): to set right
succor (120): something that furnishes relief
putative (125): something that furnishes relief
manioc (137): any of several American plants of the spurge family grown in the tropics

Post 24: Playing the Devil's Advocate, "The Revelations"

Student elections were today. Well, the preliminaries at least. Although I didn't have to run, two good friends of mine "lost". It made me remember what they had to go through, and it made it so that all of that trouble they went through didn't matter at all. I'd have to say that the most daunting thing to do is to get up in front of that podium, in front of 450 or so people. I just realized today that no matter what you say up there: whether you say you think you're the best choice, or whether you say you want to represent the class, it could all come off as arrogant. If you say why you're the best choice, it's obvious why it might seem arrogant, and if you say you want to represent the class, it could make it seem like you think you have good judgment: good enough to govern and represent what 420 students want. This concept got me to thinking about Nathan: Personally, I think Nathan is a bit arrogant; he thinks that he can "save" these "savage" people, even to the extent of thinking it is his obligation to help the "less fortunate". All of this seems very condescending to me. However, I'm going to try play the devil's advocate in this post.

We never hear Nathan's voice in the book. This obviously skews our image of him in a negative way. I think that Nathan is arrogant, and I'm pretty sure the rest of his family does as well. However, similar to my theory about campaign speeches, who is really being arrogant here? When we, the readers, and the rest of his family judge Nathan, isn't this saying that we think we do not do these things (after all, we ARE critiquing them). I'm sure that I have made some of the mistakes which Nathan has, and it's easy to criticize others, and if anyone criticized me of being arrogant (which as I stated above, I'm kind of acting that way anyway), I would just agree what they said without truly taking it into account, and without trying to improve my behavior. Although I try my best not to be, I'm sure lots of people think I'm very arrogant.

I guess what I've learned from this post is that it's always easier to critique others, where we ourselves often make the same mistakes. We should always keep that in mind before talking negatively about other's actions, and I'll try to keep it in mind while reading "The Poisonwood Bible".

Post 23: Lit Figure 8s

On Friday, in our Lit Figure 8 groups, we were told to come up with a defining moment, or a character which influences the whole course of the book. My group chose Nathan, and our example was when Nathan released both Methuselah and Mama Tabatha. The following quote is the father showing his frustration upon hearing the reason why nobody would get baptized in the river, since a young girl from the village got eaten by a crocodile prior to the family's arrival:

"'I fail to understand,' he said, "why it would take six months to inform me of that simple fact'" (81). Although it was clear that the father couldn't find many people in Kilanga who willingly took up Christianity (as seen by how he had to have a picnic in the hopes of attracting hungry villagers to get baptized), it became apparent more and more through the chapters how turned off of Christianity, and even more so, him the villagers were. In this post, I'd like to further expand and provide additional examples of not only how losing Mama Tabatha was much more of a big deal than Nathan thought it was, but also how Nathan, without realizing it, is the focal-character to hate in the book.

Currently, from where I am in "Revelations," every character, including devout, Father-loving (pun intended) Leah. Orleanna, Nathan's wife, seems to interact with everybody the least. She secretly despises being in Kilanga, and does things behind the Father's back, such as posting pictures in the kitchen of celebrities (although, evidently, the father would never go through the kitchen to discover this "contraband"). This quote illustrates how she believes that this whole journey to "help" these Kilanga-ians is a mistake, and not only that, but how her even marrying Nathan was a mistake:

"I wondered, Are we lost right now without knowing it? It had already happened so many times in my life ( my wedding day comes to mind) that I thought I was out of the woods, not realizing I'd merely paused on the edge of another narrow precipice in the midst of a long, long fall" (90). Not only does this quote imply that she made so many mistakes already (among which, marrying Nathan), but additionally, that she is perpetually falling lower and lower. Actually, there are multiple other ocassions where Orleanna speaks out against Nathan in this chapter, talking about how she misses coffee more than him, and also how the hardest thing to do everyday was deciding whether to stay with the family or not. Such a big burden was put on her when Mama Tabatha left, since she was assimilated to what precautions to take before eating any food, and how to do things in the Congo. To make a simple metaphor, it is almost like Nathan is preaching to deaf people, for they do not absorb what he is saying, at least in a positive way, and Mama Tabatha is like the family's only translator for how to do things with these deaf people: now that she's gone, their life becomes that much harder.

In the proceeding chapter, Leah talks about how she met a boy named Pascal, who the mother condoned her being around, and how Nathan would not approve of such a boy. It seems ironic to me how Nathan can't see past the skin of someone when from what I can remember from the Bible, it teaches equality. Leah speaks out against the father, because she wishes that she could relate to Pascal, and not be trapped in this different world, a more "sophisticated" world:

"For the first time ever I felt a stirring of anger against my father for making me a white preacher's child from Georgia" (115). Leah feels completely out of place in Kilanga, yet she wishes she could be one of them. It will be interesting to see how this little blemish in Leah's initially picture perfect view of her father could turn out in.

Although Ruth May is too influenced by her father, and therefore cannot take such a bold stand herself against him in her section, she notes how the father aggravates the doctor she had to see since she broke her arm. There was an irking quote in Ruth May's section where the doctor told Nathan exactly why Nathan was there. Up to this point, it seemed that Nathan going to Kilanga was something he felt was a good thing to do; to spread Christianity. However, the doctor tells us otherwise:

"'And you, my friend, are stuck with the job of trying to make amens" (121). I'm not sure if my assumption is correct, but if it is, "amens" is a pun for amends, whose reference is in making amends with the Africans since it is 1960, when the civil rights movements are taking place. As a tie-in to something earlier, it's interesting that Nathan is ignorant to racial equality.

What I personally think about Nathan right now is that he is trying to spread Christianity to benefit himself: to make himself feel better and as though he is helping people. In other words, I don't think he is spreading Christianity to the Kilanga people to benefit their lives, but only to benefit his. It'll be very interesting to see how all of this animosity toward Nathan plays out with everybody in Kilanga, and with Nathan's own family starting to hate him.

Post 22: 8th Grade

I'm not sure what it is about today, but I'm feeling very reminiscent. Maybe it's because I'm listening to a song which Carrie Underwood sang when I was in 8th grade, or maybe it's because back then I actually had the luxury to watch T.V. on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I was able to see that song being performed.

Personally, right now, I'm scared about school. Everything that happens here, in high school, is reflected on what kind of college I get into (which, contrary to what I implied in a previous post, I actually do care about). It's daunting to think that this week, I will have 4 tests, one which is worth 1/3 of my quarter grade for math. It's really frightening when it's a one shot deal, and that all of that studying you did is meaningless unless you get a good grade. Back in 8th grade, all of my teachers were completely non-intimidating. Here in the academy, especially in math, it's kind of like we just get the material thrown at us: if some of us can do it, great, but if not, well that's just too bad for all of us. In 8th grade, it seemed as though the teachers for math and science taught for getting the students to understand, whereas more increasingly, it seems as though the teachers teach because they have to, and don't care much about how the students do. In 8th grade, everything seemed more knit together, as though everyone in each team was part of a tapestry which without a single thread; without a single person, would be incomplete.

In the academy, it feels to me as though if one student is missing, and cannot complete that tapestry, another student is right there to pick up to fill that spot you left. In other words, in middle school, I felt as if everyone had a voice, and that everyone contributed, and helped each other out, whereas now, those who once helped each other are now corrupted by math curves, or are just too busy with their own lives, and too concerned with getting into that one college that they throw aside others, in turn, throwing away the most important thing: friendship. For, even if someone gets into the best college, if they had nobody to celebrate with, for if they alienated everybody around them in order to do just a little better, they are the ones who truly have nothing.

I guess that's why I miss 8th grade, because working together in school, and doing well in school were directly related, whereas now, sometimes you have to throw away friends to accomplish what you really want. The tapestry of my team, 8Y is comprised of individual threads now, as everyone has gone their separate ways. It seems as though everything which happens after 8th grade is just a drawn out goodbye to friends: for all the friends I had in 8th grade, I saw all of them less in 9th grade, and slowly we all distanced from each other, mostly because there were a lack of breaks. Now, in 10th grade, everyone hangs out in their own cliques, further severing any connection I had with those friends. When we all graduate, we'll see each other at most in the summer, and at Christmas. After college, we're all in the real world, and if I saw any friend even once a month, I'd be surprised.

I wish I could go back, not to redo 8th grade, and not to improve on everything I did in 8th grade, but rather, to relive the whole experience, for now, not having these individuals working together anymore, and now, not being able to retain the friends I had back then, I can appreciate those times when I had all of that even more. One day, I'll say the same thing about the academy, and consequently, the same thing about college, and that's one of the most depressing thoughts I've ever had.

Post 21: My School through the eyes of Orleanna

I had a bad dream last night. I dreamed that I moved through the thicket of Kilanga, through imposing vines vying for sunlight and water, through the gigantic and eclipsing trees, of which there are so many types anyone would think it is a collection of exotic plants. As I pushed my way through this greenery, this forest which eats itself in an endless cycle of rebirth, I saw an unusual sight.

I took a step forward out of mud, and for the first time in months, I felt the sensation of scorching cement! I would've shrieked from the pain had I not been so relieved to see the comforts I felt back home: running water that isn't from a well or pump! Bathrooms! I waited every minute in Kilanga for this moment where I could use all these everyday appliances I took for granted before! I've never told anyone this before, but for all the time I was in Kilanga, I carried a small knife with me, whose blade was about 4 inches long. This was for the purpose of having the luxury of slitting my wrists at any time, which releases endomorphisms into my blood stream. At the sight of this haven, of western items, and buildings, I threw down my knife.

Why couldn't Nathan come to his senses; does he not miss all of this? I saw a group of children: one working on homework, the others talking. Most of them didn't have blond hair as I do, but rather have black or dark brown hair. I hadn't seen anyone like them before, but they smiled at me and waved. It was a very surreal experience, where I was looking back on the life I could once have lived: in a contemporary environment, instead of the real environment where all but nothing was taken from me, my daughters, our lives. I walked over to a building, and looked inside a window. To my shock, I gazed into a window and saw our little house in Kilanga, complete with mud walls and mud floor, and multiple beds all with mosquito netting around them. I shook my head; this couldn't be true! When I gazed back inside, I was relieved to see a classroom where a teacher was pointing at something which seemed like a chalkboard, yet it was white, and when the teacher wrote, the ink which resided after the "chalk" passed was dark blue. I nonchalantly took a closer look at the teacher, for it seemed as though it was someone I knew. I couldn't tell since he kept showing his back to me. I shrieked out loud this time, when that man turned to face me. It was Nathan, and he smiled at me. I was torn back from this personal paradise of mine, where I had my life back? I was flung back into my bed, sweating profusely in horror of this dream being over. I felt the dry mosquito netting encompassing my bed. I sighed deeply, lifted the net up, put on my slippers, and walked slowly and reminiscently OUTSIDE to get myself a drink of water.

Why must I have these bad dreams; nightmares of getting out of this horrible place? Why must I have these dreams of hope, when here there resides none? I wish I had my knife back.

Post 20: College

In the beginning of the movie "A Beautiful Mind," a professor at Princeton talked to the incoming class.

"Mathematicians won the war. Mathematicians broke the Japanese codes... and built the A-bomb. Mathematicians... like you. The stated goal of the Soviets is global Communism. In medicine or economics, in technology or space, battle lines are being drawn. To triumph, we need results. Publishable, applicable results. Now who among you will be the next Morse? The next Einstein? Who among you will be the vanguard of democracy, freedom, and discovery? Today, we bequeath America's future into your able hands. Welcome to Princeton, gentlemen."

Ironically, though I had no intention of doing so, this quote has some distant ties to "The Singer Solution for World Poverty," in that it talks about how when you are given something, it is your obligation to use it properly and to not abuse it. I've talked about this topic in various other posts, so on to the point I intended to make.

Here at Punahou, though everyone likes to have fun, or rather, their own idea of fun, Punahou is primarily just a prep-school, intended for turning teenagers into functioning college students. On that note, here I sit, chemistry books and AP exam study books piled around me, papers written in Japanese, Math-ese, and English all alike tickling the bottom of my feet, crinkling to their demise, yet always holding out. The clock ticks twice as fast as it should, especially as the hours grow late proceeded by those of early. We're in hell.

At times like these, where I am piled in over my head in work, with any little annoyance and every little extra obligation piled and spilled over on my plate, I wonder if all this work, if all these honors courses, AP courses, are really worth this extra work, or if they're just extraneous. I watched my sister battle her way through high school, and watched all those extra courses and extra hours at school participating in various clubs pay off. Why did it seem as though all that work didn't phase her at all? Why was it that all the work she did for school always yielded a result and always seemed pragmatic?

What does college really do for you? I mean, whether you graduate a lawyer from Harvard, or a lawyer from UH (not that I'm implying anything about UH), you still have the same degree, and you still have the same status out there in the real world. So what is the purpose of spending more money to get just a status of going to a top university?

As I see applications come back, negative for the top schools, or even those who I believe to be very much qualified to top universities not even apply to top schools, for having the mindset that it was impossible for them, a part of me wants to give up, but a part of me wants to try even harder. For some reason, I believe that all my efforts now will not be for naught. Am I just deluding myself in the fake fantasy of ME getting into what I consider to be a good school?

Perhaps it is an obligation which we all have to perform to our best abilities. After all, WE, the students, are not the ones paying upwards of 15 grand a year for an education; we are the ones who have the privilege of getting a good high school education, or even an education at all. At this point, the papers clinging to the bottom of my feet don't seem to phase me as much. The papers huddled around me don't seem as intimidating. The onslaught of an endless cycle of sleep, homework, school, sports, and any other obligation, leading right back to homework every time doesn't seem as daunting. Perhaps, I have come to peace with my obligations.

Why is it that all that work seemed so easy for my sister and many other past seniors I knew seem to be so hard in penchant difficulty? Maybe, that it just seemed that way, and my sister and all those other seniors had to struggle just as much to become who they are and to get into where they are now. Maybe, it was just an act: to stare tests and other seemingly impossible projects, papers, and homework in the face. Maybe, by doing this, that is the reason why they can deal with adversity so efficiently, not letting the dire-ness of the situation knock their concentration out of line.

I walk off into the cold, stormy unknown with my head held high, staring down all the adversity in my life in the eyes.

Bring it on.

Post 19: This I Believe podcast

This is my link to my "This I Believe" podcast. It was actually a very frustrating process for me: I had to record it on my computer, where the quality came out bad, so I bought a cheap microphone, where the quality was just a tad better. It automatically saves as a Windows Media File, aka .wma. I had to download a trial version of a converter to convert the .wma file to .mp3. Also, now, pod0matic says that my recording has to be reformatted and they will inform me of when this happens. For whenever that happens, here's the link:

http://tknogk.podomatic.com/

Post 18: Obligations

Today, the best tennis player at Punahou was in risk of losing. This past Tuesday, he had won the first set, 6-4, and while up a break of serve, and up 4-2, yet he lost the second set 4-6. He was up a break, 1-0 in the third. He was injured, and so this match was taking a lot longer than we anticipated it would take. The other kid was good, if not very arrogant and conceited. More specifically, the other kid was arguably the number 2 or 3 player in the state. So, I guess everyone on varsity accepted the fact it was possible that the match would be hard from the start, but we were all surprised. Luckily, since it rained, the match was postponed till this Thursday, today. Evidently, the number one won 5 straight games to close out the match.

After the match, I got a necessary talk from the number one, the captain of the team. It's quite admirable to see a captain of the team take it on himself to address problems individual problems for teammates. I mean, I'm not trying to sound arrogant or anything, because I know anytime I play him, if I get any games I'm lucky, but in a sense he is creating more competition for himself. It's admirable to see someone who cares more about the well-being of the team, than for self glory. The talk was about what he thought was the difference between how he played on Tuesday, and today. He said the difference was that on Tuesday, he was making excuses for not playing very well- he complained about his back and such, but today, he sucked it up, didn't make excuses, and essentially wanted to put this guy in his place. He asked me what I thought about the night before I play this other guy. I admitted that I hated this guy. I told the captain that this guy thinks that he's better than anyone else. And, that I really do hate to play him. The number one said that that was what he thought.

What he said to me, I cannot fully recall. What I do remember from that conversation, what I took away from it the most, is that it is an obligation to your school, to your teammates, to your coaches, and to everyone who's ever helped you, to perform however well you can. I'll admit that I didn't want to play him, but right now, I'm fired up. I want to play the jerk on the other team now. I realize that contrary to his belief, tennis is not everything. I actually pity him now. Even if he was the best player in the world, and if he won every tournament he entered, it would be meaningless if he alienated everyone who ever helped him get to that point, as he is doing right now with his attitude problem. If he had nobody to share his success with, then all that means is that he truly is a self-centered jerk, doing it for personal glory. He doesn't care about his teammates at all, so even if I lost to him, I wouldn't really consider it a loss. Rather, I would have given him a moment of glory, in his petty life, whereas in mine, where I am surrounded by great friends and teachers, I feel much more fulfilled. In this sense, I want to represent all who supported me on the way here, even those who are not in my life anymore, by beating this kid.

"And I'll tell you this. In any fight, it's the guy that's willing to die, that will win that inch." Peace with Inches, delivered by Al Pachino.

For my teammates, not for my own self-glorification, I am willing to die for that inch, which could make all the difference.