Post 4: Contradictions Without Conclusions

In class we recently read "The Singer Solution to World Poverty," and we were partway through reading "The Gift," speaking about Kravinsky's unconditional generosity to people he barely knew. A similarity between the two essays was that they both propose that if you knowingly do not donate, and even if you do donate, it was not as much as you were able to donate, that you are killing someone. In other words, both essays are conveying that giving back to the community and to those in need is an obligation.

There are times in life where I feel very insignificant, almost as if I do not have a voice in this seemingly boundless world. A speaker came to chapel today. Unfortunately I didn't remember her name, but her story was very inspirational. She talked to our grade about how lucky we truly are to be in a learning environment with vast resources; that is, even books which we everyday take for granted cannot be adequetely supplied to public schools. Even though she is just one of over 6 billion voices in the world, her difference to the world, to however little people it affected, was significant. This lead to a question that I pondered: what is more important: saving a child's life, where an education is not secured, or provide children with a 2nd grade reading level when they should be at a 6th grade reading level with an adequete education? Which is more important to address?: one is local and national while the other problem is primarily international. Is it an obligation to donate money to international countries when the problems nationally are obvliously more related to us?

"Do you think about your dream when you are falling down? Do you think about your dream when nobody believes you?" -Middle of Nowhere by Ellegarden. Growing up is scary. I do not want to imagine a world where my dreams cannot come true, even if I try as hard as I can. In this stage of my life, my primary goal is to get into one of the top colleges in the country. In fact, I'd imagine that that'd be most people's goals who are my age, since we all are going to a prep school. Grades came out today, and almost needlessly to say, they were a letdown, not that that should be a suprise after two semesters of prior grades which negate my dream of getting into a top college. Do I think about my dreams when I am falling down? Sure, and most of the time, it makes me try harder. Usually, it gives me a sense of vindiction: almost as though I have something to prove. But after two semesters of disappointment, with more and more added to boot, the dream becomes less and less plausible, and the picture becomes grayer every time.

How many regrets will I live with in two years, after the acceptances and rejections get slammed in my face, through all my other obligations? Will I live in a world of what ifs?